Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Your cock deserves a montage
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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