OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
