Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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