if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
