why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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