dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
