He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
