The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
