dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's like iHOP with fire
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
