get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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