yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
