He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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