You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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