just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And then my night got REAL pukey
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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