guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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