I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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