Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
