You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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