My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
