that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
that is very illegal...i love you.
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