I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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