By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
