Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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