Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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