my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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