ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
