you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
