In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize