i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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