What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
