if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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