Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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