I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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