haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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