His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
