Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
