Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
