I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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