he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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