Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
