At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
