I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
