We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
