So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was like eating out sand paper
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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