I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
