anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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