do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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