he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
