Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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