I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
