Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
