In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
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I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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