i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
