Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
