is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
