And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
