I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
