So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
