final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
