You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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